Backlog and Updates #3: Logan,Lila, School and More

Continuing with the updates from last month, here are yet more photos.
Logan and Lila are both doing so well in school. Logan is happy and often says, “Kindergarden is actually fun!” The place we found for him is just what he needed. While they do have bookwork, in order to prepare the children for what they are required to know before they enter 1st grade here, they also have a lot of fun. The school combines American early learning techniques with Montessori, which gives them a lot more freedom to explore and enjoy themselves. 
Ready to go.

 While Lila’s school requires a uniform, Logan’s doesn’t. They believe the children should come to school wearing what they are most comfortable in. They do have some special occassions that the children dress up for, like certain Indian holidays. Here is Logan in his traditional outfit. He has already worn it 3 times this month. Ha. I only got him one since he won’t wear it anywhere but school,  but I bet they are getting bored of seeing the same one all the time.

Ready for special holiday activities.

 Of course the big holiday this month was Independence Day. Here is Logan in class the day before.

 And here is Lila ready for her Independence Day activities. This is her first time wearing a traditional top.

And I did her hair in the colors of the flag.

On the actual Independence Day, we rested at home and then went for a family outing to the park in the afternoon.

September 5th was Teacher’s Day, so I helped the kids make cards for their teachers. My mom sent them this teddy bear activity and it was perfect to use for cards. While I had to do most of the work (of course), they did the coloring and drew designs on the cards, plus signed their names on them, with a little help.

Logan’s cards made it to the school bulletin board.

Logan has only been in this school for 7 weeks, but already we see him making so much progress. I had my first PTV with his teacher last week and he is ahead in everything, except writing. Well, that doesn’t bother us. We don’t mind if he goes slower with writing and learns to do it right. See, here in India, children are required to be reading and able to write two sentences on their own when they enter 1st grade, so they begin learning to write in preschool. LKG reinforces it and by UKG, where Logan is, they are introduced to cursive. Wow!

His difficulties lie in a) desire to learn to write, and b) a lack in fine motor skills. Homework was tough for him at first, but he is getting used to it. I don’t always make him do everything that is sent home. They were giving him a lot because he had two months worth of work to make up in order to be up with his classmates. Now the amount has been reduced. Even the teacher said she doesn’t like to give them so much but she is requred to in order for them to be ready for 1st grade.

Last week she gave them all a break from writing and planned a fun day of cooking. Logan was so happy, as you can see from the pics. He was especially delighted to not have any homework last weekend.

Taking a turn with the mixing.

And enjoying the sandwiches afterwards.

One funny thing: Here children address their teachers by their name first and then they say Miss afterwards. In Logan’s school, the children say aunty instead of miss. Well, Logan calls his teacher Sherly Aunty Miss. Ha. He was used to calling his teacher Miss so he just tacked it on. He also used to call the nanny in his class last year Aunty Miss and everyone thought it was so funny. I guess he thought aunty was her name.

As you can see, he has a lot of books. From the top they are an English workbook, Math workbook, cursive and print writing workbooks, an art book, general knowledge, writing numbers, a blank drawing book, Hindi alphabet book, English reader and workbook, plus 4 blank notebooks. The school also provided a backpack. Most of this work is done at school. So far his homework has been the writing and numbers workbooks, reading, drawing, and Hindi, though with the last one I sent a note saying I wasn’t able to teach him the Hindi alphabet and Glad could only help with it on weekends. He was supposed to practice the letters at home but I think they decided to not send it any more. He also often gets extra letter practice in the blank notebooks.

As for the reading I was doing with him, we have slowed down with it in order to make his homework a priority, but he is reading so well that even though we don’t get to do it daily any more, he is still progressing. Today he surprised me by spelling all the numbers from one to ten! I had no idea he was learning spelling already.

Today I met with Lila’s teacher for the first term PTV. Lila has made excellent progress in every area, except talking in school. While she is a great (and loud) talker at home, at school she is very quiet and never speaks above a whisper. Only recently did her teachers discover that she has a loud voice. Glad had been out on business and picked Logan up and brought him back to Lila’s school, instead of the other way around. Logan took off to explore his old school and raced up the stairs. Lila knows that she isn’t supposed to go up as her classroom is downstairs (the same one Logan had, with the same main teacher), so she stayed at the bottom of the stairs and politely shouted for Logan to come down. Apparently all the teachers came running because it was the first time they had ever heard her normal voice. Ha.

They are preparing for their annual day event at the end of this month, so the kids will be having dance practice all next week and Lila is excited about it. She is doing well with the dancing and enjoys it above all the rest of the activities at school.

And I will leave you with photos of them leaving for school, taken just this morning. We live in a large house that is divided into apartments and ours is on the first floor. Here they are heading out.

Down the stairs…

… onto the scooter …

… and away they go.

I’m nervous about bikes. I’ve never been on one myself because of this, but the kids are used to it. And Glad goes slow with them. Their schools are super close to home, too, so it is not like they have to spend a long time on it. And it is cheaper than taking them by auto every day. Don’t get me started on the exhorbant fees auto drivers charge here in Chennai. Thankfully the city is waking up to the need to change it and hopefully they will get the local government to reinstitute the use of the meter. I hate haggling prices with auto drivers, especially because they expect me to pay more since I am white. (This sounds like a new post. I just might write it.)

My Baby – At 20 Months

UPDATE: I’ve added some videos to this post. Don’t miss them!
I’m becoming more aware of the fact that my baby, in this case, the youngest and permanent baby, Scarlett, is quickly growing up. It feels odd not having a small baby around, though many things are getting easier. For example, I took them all to the mall this morning and it wasn’t as hard to keep them coralled as it was before. I still have to hang on to Scarlett most of the time, but if Logan or Lila take off and I want them to come back, I just have to say, “Bye, I’m leaving without you.” And they shout no and come running. It works every time.
But I’m getting distracted. This post is supposed to be about Scarlett. Ok, first of all, she is such a toddler now. She looks like one, right?
She loves to hold the cone herself.

 She has reached toddler independence and wants to do everything herself. She figured out how to get into the book cabinet by watching Logan and Lila push on the glass doors. She wants to use a regular cup instead of a sippy cup (though she forgets to carry it straight and spills).

She is a total daddy’s girl. Daddy is her love. If he is home at bedtime, she forces a huge cry, hoping he will take her with him. When he isn’t here, she lies down without a fuss. Whenever he eats anything, she shows up and has to have some. He has started serving himself more to make sure he gets enough because she will eat all of what he has and then some. When he leaves for work, she has to have a “tis” (kiss) and hug, then follows him out the door, crying when I bring her in. When he gets home, she welcomes him the loudest with a huge “hi dada!”

Last Sunday at the park.

She is talking so much I can’t keep up with how many words she knows. She repeats whatever anyone says and uses 2 and 3-word sentences often. She doesn’t just say a word, but puts the or a in front of it – da dog, da cup, da anything. Ha. Da means both a and the to her.

As for sentences, she often calls out to me, “Dook, Mama, dook” (look) and points out something. Often it is “da ant, da datoo (gekko)” or anything else she sees and wants me to see. Her longest sentence to date is “I tee da dog”. Awww.

Picking flowers.

In this one she is chasing a butterfly and keeps saying “butterfly”, plus more words. Taken at the same time as the above pics.

She loves climbing so naturally she loves the playground. Swings and slides are her greatest delight. Of course, I have to hold her as she climbs as she often gets distracted by what is happening around and has a few times lost her footing, but falls don’t keep her down and she gets right back up and climbs up again.

I had to climb this one with her but she went down alone.

 She loves music and dancing, and sings often. It is usually some mumbo jumbo to the tune of “Old Macdonald”, then loud and clear comes ‘EIEIO’. Ha. She likes to walk on a bed (following Lila, of course) or stand on a chair and lift her legs and say, “I dancing, Mama, I dancing” with a great big smile on her face. She has great rhythm and can carry a tune well for someone so young. Sorry, the video is a little blury. Blame it on my cheapo phone.

There are still times when she comes and says “carry” with her arms stretched out and expects me to carry her around, and she doesn’t want me to put her down. She tries to do everything Logan and Lila do, and if either of them hurt her, she retaliates with slaps, pinching and hair pulling. Hmm…I wonder where she learned that? And she’ll shake her finger at them and say “No, no, no”. It’s so cute.

Remember seeing Lila in this one?
She has started fitting into the clothes Lila wore at this age. It is almost surreal seeing her fit into things that I remember Lila using so much. Sometimes, while folding laundry, I forget they are hers and I put them into Lila’s pile out of habit.
I’m working on her potty training and she is getting the idea, often coming to tell me when she needs to go. In the house I leave her diaper off so she can sit on the potty on her own easily. But strangely, she does better at staying dry when daddy is home with her. Maybe it is because she loves him more (I’m joking, and not), or maybe it is just because he focuses on the kids when home, whereas I have my mind in a hundred places and can’t always be thinking about the potty.
It won’t be long before my baby is no longer a baby. I’m trying not to think about it but it is staring me in the face every day. She is growing up too fast.

Trouble Be Thy Middle Name

Lila seems to be practicing for a life of trouble…or maybe she is just being a normal 2-year-old. She keeps me busier than the other two combined! She has to do at least one thing daily that makes me wish I had a playpen her size that I could lock her in (it would have to be escape and sound proof), though she usually does more than that.

Today for instance: I was getting a head start on dinner so that when Scarlett gets fussy I can see to her and not worry about dinner being late like it usually is. Lila came to me with something white and runny on her hands – she had dumped a (thankfully small) bottle of baby lotion on my bed, rubbing it into the sheets.

When I went to look at it, she said, “Oh God, Lila”, imitating what I say to her whenever she creates a disaster of epic proportions and I am pressed for time but have to clean it. I had no idea I said it so much that she knew it. Actually, I only say it when I’m really upset – I’ve had a long day, listened to too many hours of screaming and crying, when I’m on edge and need a break.

It is never-ending with her – I swear! Yesterday she dumped a bottle of laundry bleach all over the balcony and herself; she regularly dumps water on the floor in varying quantities; she has flooded both the living and dining rooms; she sticks her hands in the flour and licks them when I’m rolling chapattis; she will systematically drop her dinner on the floor if she doesn’t want to finish (usually I’m nursing the baby and can’t go to her); she loves to play with soap, and will take the bar to her room, or my bed, dig into it and rub it all over herself. She rips things, breaks things, opens most anything, eats anything, and then runs when I catch her. She has learned how to run around the furniture so I can’t catch her easily but will then usually get herself stuck in a corner.

Ironically, she rarely gets hurt. At the most she will get a scratch or a bump, nothing serious. The turpentine incident has been, by far, the worst trouble she has gotten into since her trouble-making days began. I just hope she won’t have anything worse happen.


I’m still adjusting to the fact that Logan can talk so well now. I’ve been so used to him not talking that every time he uses a new word it takes me by surprise. He is now making 2- and 3-word sentences, generally a noun-verb-noun combination, for example, (these are some of his actual sentences) “Mommy hug daddy” (seeing me give Glad a hug), “Mommy eat food”, “see cow”, “mow lowlock” (more yoghurt), “watch video”. He says lots more than this but that is all I can think of at this moment. Tonight he surprised me even more by quoting the whole song “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”. He can’t say all the words perfectly, but he knows it. When playing, he spends lots of time talking to himself. Most of the time he either talks about what he is doing (such as when making a puzzle he keeps repeating what part of the picture he is doing) or he counts. He can count to 10 but he always skips 7 since he can’t say it well. Sometimes he stops at 5 or 6 and goes back to 1. He will do this over and over, non stop. The way he talks on and on reminds me of my youngest brother, Zeke, when he was 3. He went through a phase when he repeated the same words of his request for a night snack exactly the same every night for months on end. If I remember correctly it went something like this (with a preschooler’s accent): “Take a piece of bread, put peanut butter on it, and more bread and honey on it, and put it together and put it on a plate and cut it and eat it.” Every single night. He just had to say it. I can imagine Logan coming up with something like that soon enough, though at this time Logan’s night snack is just a cup of milk and his request for it is always just “mowk”.

Christmas Shopping

I finished wrapping all my gifts today. When it comes to Christmas, I love giving gifts, and my only limit is the size of my wallet. Now that I have children, it is fun to shop for them. It’s a good thing that I don’t have as much money as I’d like ’cause then my kids would have too much stuff. Sometimes I see something that is cute and I’d like to buy it for them, even if I’m sure they’d never use it. But because I can’t do that, I am forced to think about if what I am buying is needed or not.

This year I got 3 gifts for Logan and 1 for Lila. I find that small kids are usually happy with one gift and often don’t even want another once they start playing with that one. Also, they are too young to get into the “he got more than me” banter that you hear with older kids. Last year I didn’t even have a gift for Logan when we all opened gifts and you know what? He didn’t even notice. He just had fun playing with all the wrapping. (In my defense, I had been sick so I didn’t do my regular shopping. Can I count being pregnant as an excuse too?) I did get him a gift a few days later, but it was for my benefit, not his. I also know that others will give them gifts so I figure they will end up with enough stuff in the end and won’t even realize it. I, on the other hand, will have more toys to pick up and stuff to find a place for, and will wish I had not bought anything.

I’ve done almost all my gift shopping with Logan in tow, including his gifts. One of the beauties of shopping with toddlers is you can shop for them and even have them pick what they would like. (He picked all his gifts.) By the time you get home, they will have forgotten what you got and when you give it to them later it will still be a surprise. I decided to wrap the gifts today and about halfway through, Logan decided to watch me wrap his gifts. Ha. I think this is the only year I will be able to get away with that. Next year I will have to hide them for sure.

Now, lest you think all I have on my mind is Christmas and gifts, here are some pics of my bathing beauty. These are the first pics I’ve taken of her in the tub. She was having so much fun. She gets excited when she sees the water, the toys, etc. that she screams with delight and kicks until I put her in the water. Then she tries to eat the toys and stand up in the tub. She didn’t sit still the entire time. She was wiggling back and forth, stirring up the water, splashing, and playing and enjoyed every minute of it.

I bought her the rubber duck the other day when I was out with her. I picked it up in the shop and she got so excited at seeing it, crying when I put it down, that I had to get it for her. Logan likes it too. It has 3 little ducklings that sit on its back but I don’t give them to Lila as they are the perfect size to fit in her mouth and she still eats EVERYTHING! She even ate Logan’s cookie crumbs off the floor today.

Lila is Growing Up


Lila seems to be on fast forward speed lately. At only 7 months old, she is doing things that I have not seen a baby so young do ever. For example, her favorite thing to do is stand up. She will stand anywhere as long as there is something to hold on to. She will even hold on to the rocking horse or the walker and can steady herself. She does fall a fair amount but is getting better by the day.

She can crawl very well, and loves to get into the garbage can. If I leave it on the floor of the room, I can be sure to find her in it. She wants to play with Logan and will try to join in on what he is doing. He gets upset because she grabs his toys and eats them. If she gets into something that isn’t for her or I have to take something away she dissolves into a puddle of tears and loud crying and I have to quickly find something to distract her with. She is so curious and inquisitive; her playtime really is learning time.

The best new thing is that she can say “ma-ma”. She says it with real understanding; she knows she is calling me and loves to get my attention, though most of the time she will only say it when she is sad, hurt, or tired.

Her babyhood seems to be speeding by. Logan seemed to be a baby for much longer, but that could have been due to his not crawling until 11 months or walking until 15 months. It feels like only yesterday that Lila was a tiny baby who would just lie there, and now she is a dirt-finding, garbage-eating, drool machine. 🙂 Ha. But even though she does those things, one look at her huge smile is enough to melt my heart.

Two Years Ago

I’m sitting here thinking about two years ago. It doesn’t matter that it is still a few days away, the event I have in mind. Maybe it’s because we are celebrating Logan’s birthday tomorrow that I am thinking about it. What is it? Well, his birthday, of course. I mean the actual day he was born.

He wasn’t even due yet. I was only 7 months pregnant, yet I was lying in the clinic bed, the doctor telling me that they’d have to perform an emergency C-section. My water bag had been leaking all day and showed no sign of stopping. Logan had a strong heartbeat but he wasn’t moving. The doctor was worried. I was scared. I remember looking at my tummy and thinking it looked like a deflated balloon. A tiny lump on the right side of my tummy showed where the baby was lying. There was no water left by the time he was delivered.

Yet he made it.

He was taken to a larger hospital a few hours later as the small clinic didn’t have the needed facilities for a premature newborn. Glad went with him. I didn’t even know all that had happened or that was happening for the first few days. Glad would visit Logan twice a day, and then come back and be with me. He deliberately didn’t give me all the details of Logan’s condition because he wanted me to rest and not worry about the baby. He stopped breathing the day after he was born and had to be put on a ventilator for 5 days.

Yet he made it.

I left the clinic on the fourth day after he was born. I desperately wanted to see my baby, to hold him. So Glad took me there. I wish he had prepared me. I walked in to see my baby covered with tubes and needles. I just stood there, wanting to touch him, wanting to cry. He was so tiny, so thin you could see all his bones and every joint. I would have cried but the nurse saw and told me firmly, “Not in front of the babies”. That hurt. But I braved it and forced myself to touch my baby and feel how soft he was. Then it was time to go home. I had to rest, but I didn’t want to leave my baby.

When I got out in the hall, I broke down. I don’t know how long I cried for. It hurt so much to see my baby like that. I didn’t know if he was going to make it. I was sure he was going to die. All the way home I couldn’t stop crying. I got into bed and tried to stop but I couldn’t. It hurt too much.

Yet he made it.

Over the next few days before he came home, I had a constant fear that he was going to die; that the next call from the hospital would be to inform us of that. I started to dread calls from the hospital. My heart would pound at the mention of it, until I heard whatever the news was. It was always good, but until I knew, it was hard.

On the tenth day after he was born, he came home. He made it! He never had a single health problem relating to being premature from the day he came home.

I think God has a special plan for his life. If Logan hadn’t been born that day, he would have died. So God had the water bag break so I would go to the hospital. The cord was wrapped around his neck so tightly that the doctors had to cut it before they could deliver him. Had he moved around it would have tightened and choked him. So God made sure that he didn’t move, not even a toe, until after he was born. That lack of movement saved his life.

He made it!

Now as he turns two, I think about how special he is. When I ask him for a kiss, he opens his mouth wide to get one. When I tell him I love him and ask him to say, “I love you, Mommy,” he will blow a kiss.

Tonight as I was putting him to bed, I told him the story of his birthday (the toddler version of course). He lay quietly, listening carefully, something he doesn’t do very often. Then when I told him it was time to get into bed, he didn’t make a fuss. He lay down and didn’t wiggle around like he usually does. He must have been thinking about the story.

My baby is growing up.

Here he is at 8 days old.

And here he is at two.

Where Has This Year Gone?

I can’t believe we are in September already! This year has flown by so fast I don’t know where it went. Lila is 4 months old already and Logan will be 2 in November. I keep thinking about how small he was when he was born and how big he is now. Time has gone by too fast.

Lila goes in the walker now. She can’t touch the floor yet (almost can) but it is safer than the bouncer. She leaned forward in the bouncer the other day and almost flipped it. Thank God I was there to catch her. After that I packed up the bouncer and pulled out the walker. I have to put a folded towel in front of her to hold her up but at least I know she is safe and won’t fall.

She fell asleep the first time I put her in the walker.

Isn’t he getting tall?

Helping daddy make juice from sweet limes.

I love his smile of pure excitement.


“I’m cute and I won’t let you forget it.”

Indulging in her new favorite pastime – eating her toes. She will even do it with socks on, and tonight did it in the bath.

News About Lila and an Outing

Lila is now 3 months old or will be in a few days, ha. She is a chatterbox already. If you start talking to her, she will immediately begin a conversation with you, and I mean a real one. Not that she knows any words yet, no, that would be too much for you to handle, but she has coos, gurgles, and lots of ga-ga’s. And she doesn’t just use one at a time either, but all of them mixed up, as if she is really trying to talk. It is so cute.

This morning while watching Logan eat breakfast, she gave him the biggest smile I’ve seen out of her yet. He wasn’t even paying her any attention. I guess she found his messy eating style entertaining.

Yesterday while on our walk, we went into a local mall to rest and have some water. I knew they had an aquarium but had never checked it out, so I did. They only charged a small entry fee for me (they were going to charge me for two tickets but I told the guy I wasn’t going to pay for Logan as he is ONLY 1) and then we spent a wonderful half hour or so checking out all the fish.

Logan loved it so much. He was exclaiming over every fish he saw, running from tank to tank. It was only a small room with tanks lining the walls and a large one in the center of the room. The aisle was just barely big enough for the stroller to go through. I also took Lila out of the stroller and she had big eyes while looking at some large fish. I hadn’t planned to go or I would have brought the camera. Next time.


Here are a few pics of Logan at the aquarium. We went again, with daddy this time, and Logan enjoyed it, though we chose a Sunday evening and the place was so crowded that we could hardly move. The guys running the place just kept packing them in, even though there was no space left, so we cut our visit short. But the first time we went it had been empty so Logan enjoyed it more.

Mommy Stuff

Life with two children is definitely busy. I spend the day going from one to the other and rarely have a minute to myself.

Most of the day I am pulling Logan out of one thing or another – such as the toilet. No kidding. He loves to stick his hand in the toilet and splash the water. If it is flushing I have to make sure he is far away as he wants to stick his hands in then too. The other day I was cleaning the bathroom so to keep him busy I stuck him in the shower with a trickle of water and some cups. He had fun for a while but kept coming out to see what I was doing. When I scrubbed his bathtub, he tried to climb on it, and when I turned my back he had his hand in the toilet. I pulled him out of the toilet 3 times that morning. Why do boys love such things? What attracts them to things that other people would rather avoid? I used to take care of a little boy who had a knack for getting dirty in minutes, no matter where he went or what he did. I used to jokingly call him a “dirt magnet” and he loved it. He was so proud of that nickname.

Lila is growing up too. She now likes to smile, especially when I talk to her. She will also respond with a coo and gurgle, her eyes staring right at me. She knows what she is up to. She hates when daddy kisses her with a pokey beard. He likes to kiss her face but she will scream if the beard scratches her. Daddy just says she has to get used to it but I don’t think she ever will. I know I hate it like that. Imagine her baby soft skin getting poked with sharp whiskers. Poor thing. I’ve tried to explain to him that it’s like having sandpaper rubbed on your face but he doesn’t understand. He only likes to shave when he has to; otherwise forget it.

Lila also enjoys bath time more these days. I sometimes put her in the tub with Logan and she floats on my hand while kicking Logan. There isn’t much space for two in a baby bath tub but Logan actually likes having her join him. He tries to poke her belly button or grab her toes, not to be mean, but just out of curiosity. I will have to get a picture so that one day they can see that they used to take a bath together.

As soon as I take her out, Logan tries to get out too, even though I haven’t washed him yet. While I dress her, I have to keep taking him back to the tub, otherwise he runs around the room dripping wet but still dirty. Ha. I finally manage to convince him to stay put for a few minutes while I dress the baby and then I go back to wash him and let him out. I’ve never known a child who didn’t like to stay in the tub. Most don’t want to get out, but he will climb out at any time. He likes to take a bath but isn’t into staying in long.

I miss when he was small. He is growing up so fast now that I wonder how time could have passed so quickly. I have to remember that he isn’t a baby anymore but a speeding toddler. He takes a long time to go to sleep at night cause he plays around and stands up in bed and doesn’t understand why I want him to lie still. I spend a lot of time telling him to lie still. I can say it without thinking. I will even tell him to lie down when he isn’t standing up. Something must be wrong with me.

He is addicted to videos, wanting to watch one at any hour of the day. He will watch 3 or more in a row if I let him. When I do finally allow him a video, I have to have something else interesting ready for afterwards or else he cries that it is over and begs for more. When he wakes up in the morning, the first thing he asks for is a video. At bedtime, he wants a video. Any time, he wants a video. I have a line for that too, “It’s not video time”. He hears that many times a day. I’m worn out just from talking to him.

Right now it is after 10 pm and he is still awake. Lila is awake too, though she was asleep. The pacifier is keeping her quiet. And Glad is sleeping, hanging over the bed next to their beds. Why do the parents sleep and the kids stay up? I’m tired ’cause Lila usually goes to bed between 11 and 12 pm and gets me up in the morning by 6:00. She nurses, plays and cries to be picked up and carried.

I get up, make my coffee, and by 7:00 she is asleep again but I am up. I can’t go back to sleep after that, so I spend the day tired due to lack of sleep. And I’m living on coffee. But after all, God designed mothers to live on black coffee and leftovers so I’m doing well. (Do you know that story? If not, read on.) But I hate black coffee so I add lots of milk to it. But the rest of this story is absolutely true. (Come on, mommies, agree with me. I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about.)


When God Created Mothers

When the good Lord was creating Mothers … He was into His sixth day of “overtime.” An angel appeared and said, “You’re sure doing a lot of fiddling around on this one!”
God nodded and said, “Yes, but have you read the specs on this order? She has to be completely washable, but not made of plastic.

She has to have 180 movable parts … all replaceable.

She’ll have to run on black coffee and leftovers.

She’ll need a lap that disappears when she stands up.

She’ll have to have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped finger to a disappointed love affair. She will also need six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands? … No way!”

“It is not the hands that are causing me problems,” said the Lord. “It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”

“That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel.

The Lord nodded and said, “One pair is to see through closed doors when she asks, “What are you kids doing in there?” … although she’ll already know. She needs another pair here in the back of her head that can see the things she shouldn’t have to, but things that she has to know. And of course, she’ll need a set of eyes here in front that will be able to look at a child when he goofs up. Those eyes will be able to say, “I understand and I love you,” without even muttering a word.”

“Lord,” said the angel touching God’s sleeve gently, “You had better go to bed. Tomorrow …”

“I can’t,” interrupted the Lord. “I’m so close now to creating something that is so much like myself, that I just can’t stop. I’ve already created one who can heal herself when she is sick, feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger, and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower.”

Slowly, the angel circled and carefully looked at the model of a Mother. “It’s too soft!” the angel sighed.

“But she’s tough!” said the Lord excitedly. “You cannot imagine what this mother will be able to do or the things that she will be able to endure.”

The angel asked, “Can she think?”

“Not only can she think, but she will be able to reason and compromise,” said the Creator.

Finally the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the mother. “There’s a leak in her!” the angel pronounced. “I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model.”

“That’s not a leak,” said the Lord. “It’s a tear!”

“What’s it for?” asked the angel.

The Lord said, “It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, love and pride.”

“Wow! You’re a genius!” said the angel.

The Lord looked somber and said, “But I didn’t put it there!”

~ Erma Bombeck ~

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