The Story of My Life

Can you relate to this?

It is evening, 6 p.m. Kids are watching a video, hubby is home for the evening. That darn PMS has you tired and grumpy, and you desperately want to relax, but dinner needs to be made. At a loss for ideas, you ask hubby for some. He offers to cook … if you do prep.
So while he watches some t.v. and then runs to the store for some last-minute items for the butter chicken he wants to make, you (finally) get the dishes done. Then you divide the chicken, put the rice on and chop onions. Hubby is back and starts to cook.
By the time dinner is ready it is almost 8 p.m. The baby is tired cause she only had one nap. You don’t want her to sleep now as you know it will only be a nap and she will be up half the night if she does. She nurses and instantly falls asleep. You put her in bed, leaving the door open so the noise will wake her soon.

You serve the kids their food, then serve yourself and plop on the couch to eat and watch a little t.v. Soon, though, you look back to see kid #1, who skipped nap that day, sleeping soundly on the table. Kid #2 has left her dinner and is playing. About this time baby wakes up. Hubby takes her out of bed and leaves the two girls to play.

You finish eating, then realize that hubby has disappeared to the shower. He comes out, gets his dinner, then again disappears into the bedroom with his food and the laptop. He tells you to take kid #1 to the toilet before you put him into bed. Gee. You were hoping he would do that. But no, it is now your job. Take kid to toilet. Sleeping kid doesn’t do anything and is falling all over. You don’t care if he wets his bed and tuck him in.

You give the baby a bath while kid #2 desides it is time to finish eating. Go to dress the baby, and snap at hubby for watching the movie you just downloaded that you had hoped to watch together. Leave the baby in the room with him so that he can “help” you. Give kid #2 a bath and get her ready for bed. She wants a story before sleep. Get a book and read to her. Finish her bedtime routine and tuck her in.
By now it is 9:30 p.m. Baby is tired and fussy, but you need a shower.  Leave her with hubby and take a quick one. Sit in bed to nurse baby and ask hubby what happened so far. He turns the laptop over to you and rolls over to sleep.
You start the movie from the beginning. About 20 minutes in, baby is sleeping so you get up to put her into bed. At that moment, kid #1 walks in looking for you. Take him back to bed and tell him to sleep. Baby is up again. Sit to watch the movie and pat baby back to sleep. Put her in bed.
Just when you are ready to relax, don’t. Kid #1 keeps coming back. You keep putting him back into bed. Around 11 p.m. you still haven’t finished the movie – too many interruptions. Kid #1 isn’t going back to sleep. You shower him and get him ready for bed. He wants a story. Despite your better judgement, you give in. He wants to read a book but you convince him that telling him a story will be better so that you won’t have to go to the trouble of getting a book and going somewhere to read it.
You tell him to lie down, lie next to him and ask him what story he wants. He wants the one of the people and the naughty snake. Some quick thinking brings to mind the story of Adam and Eve, and you procede to tell it. After that he wants the one about the donkey. No, you don’t know that one. The one about the goat? No, never heard of it. It’s the last story, pick one I know. So he finally wants the one about the lost sheep. Storytime over, you tell him it is now time to sleep.
It’s late. You’ve lost track of time yet you want to finish that movie. You bring the laptop to the table and finish it there. Then you decide to read some blogs. All this time, kid #1 keeps getting out of bed. Finally he asks for a snack. Since he didn’t finish dinner, you give him one. Get him back in bed.
Somewhere around then (post-midnight), fireworks go off. Kid #1 hates the noise and keeps getting up to tell you (at least he isn’t freaking out like he used to). You tell him someone is having a party and that is why they are bursting them and he conjures up the menu – cake, ice cream and chocolate. Right, ok. Go to sleep now.
You try to continue reading, thinking that he will fall asleep at any moment. Instead, kid #2 wakes up. Give her water and get them both back in bed. Fireworks seem louder than ever. Decide to stay up a while longer so that all kids will be asleep when you go to bed.
One a.m. arrives and you can’t last any longer. Kid #1 is still awake!! Tell him you are going to bed and that he will just have to go to sleep on his own. Lie down and count to 10. The door opens but it is kid #2, not #1 like you were expecting. Fireworks are still going off, though more sporadically, so you take her into bed. You are too tired to care if you are crowded or not.

Baby wakes several times in the night. Kid #1 eventually shows up. Baby wakes you around 6:30 a.m., nurses then plays, threating to wake the others. You take her to the kids’ room so she can play and you lie down and try for some more sleep. She won’t let you. She cries cause you won’t get up with her. She is still tired but has nursed all she can, so you pat her to sleep. You don’t care how long it takes or how much she fusses. She has to go back to sleep.

Finally, the magic moment arrives. She is asleep. You have to move her to her bed since the tiny kids’ room bed is not safe for her. Give up your plan to sleep in your bed when you see there is no space. Lie down in the kids’ room. You can’t sleep cause you are too awake and hungry. Check the time. It is now 8 a.m. Get up, get some coffee, and blog about your exhausting night.

When I wrote this, my kids were 3 yrs. 10 mo., 2 yrs. 5 mo, and 10 mo. It wasn’t funny at the time but now I can laugh about the insanity of it all.

Leave a comment


  1. Great grandma says" Read to the two older ones together, put them in bed at the same time, leave them there and tell them that's it! Go to bed, go to sleep! ha! Remember to sit at the table with them and make sure they eat their meal, no ;lunches at night! " PS Great grandma adds to put them to bed early and leave them there, mshe says she'd threaten to spank their bottom if they left their room.

  2. Ha. Usually I do that, Mom. They normally do go to bed at the same time and do stay in bed. This was an unusual night.

  3. Suckiest night ever! I started thinking of that new book "Go the F#*k to sleep about halfway through. HOPE you've gotten better sleep in the last day or so.

  4. Aaaw poor you. This instantly brought back the (not so distant)sleepless nights. It does get better!

  5. OMG you have 5 kids?? I was losing count, though you had me reading to the end. I got tired just reading this. I only have two, and I remember those nights when you never seemed to get to sleep, and no, it wasn't funny back then! :))

  6. Ummm…no, Sandra, I only have 3. TG!


Comments make me smile!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: