Toys – A Source of Pain, Stress and Insanity

I was thinking today that toy manufacturers must not actually interact with children. See, I had a painful meeting of the sole of my foot with a large piece of Lego while I was carrying the baby this morning. Someone had kindly dumped their Lego’s in my room just so that something like this could happen.

Toys like that should come with a warning: “Painful if stepped on.” Sure they are educational. You learn about construction, colors, physics, and pain.

And what about noisy toys? “Will cause insanity if listened to repeatedly“.

Logan had a Nemo toy when he was a baby that sang the most irritating song, and it wouldn’t go off either, unless I turned it off. He loved it; I didn’t. Lila has a duck that used to quack. Now it doesn’t after too many trips in the washer. For Christmas I put some phones in their stockings, and regretted it by the end of the day. I was happy when those stopped working. And let’s not forget the annoying sounds that came from that walker music tray. Painful! I was so happy when that one died.

I can just imagine it: a roomful of toy designers (who are all childless) sitting around a very large table in a quiet room, discussing what they should make next.

“This new toy has to be attractive”, says one.

“And educational”, says another.

“What about loud? Kids love loud things.” quips a third clueless designer.

“I know – we can have it sing the ABC’s and ‘Old MacDonald’ in a high-pitched voice.”

“Oh, yes, kids like the songs and parents will be happy ’cause the kids are learning something.”

… and this is how noisy, painfully annoying  toys come to be.


They should all be sold with complementary earplugs!!!

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  1. Hahaha! So true! I think someone should make a website with toy irritability ratings. Now that would be useful. 🙂

  2. Wow, sis! That is possibly the best article I've seen yet.You should definitely do more rants.


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