Rememberances and Musings…On Mother’s Day

Ok, today I’m going to take a little trip down memory lane and write some memories I have of my mom. They won’t be in any particular order; just random things as they come to mind.

I remember when I was 8 years old and into having frizzy hair, she would help me do lots of tiny braids and then undo them the next day.

One year for Christmas when I was 6 or 7, I got a box with beginner supplies for learning to sew, knit, embroider, etc. Mom sat and taught me to knit, something I carried on for years. I already knew how to sew and later I did pick up basic embroidery on my own. I think that was also the year mom helped me sew my own Christmas stocking.

Way back when I was really young, I remember mom going out and promising to bring me a suprise, which she would stick under my pillow if I was already asleep. If I woke up in the night, I’d feel under my pillow for it so I could see what it was.

Believe it or not, I actually remember one occasion when she was teaching me to read. I learned early, and could read well by 2 years old, so I must have been quite small when this happened. I remember sitting on her lap, and for every word I read, she would give me a raisin. The pile would grow until reading time was over and then I could eat them. I also remember snitching a raisin while she was praying for our reading time and getting a slap on my hand. Ha. I thought she had her eyes closed and couldn’t see what I was doing.

I remember when I was 17 and living away from her, mom once gave me $100 for my birthday, something I had never had before. I think I held on to it for quite some time before I broke the bill.

I remember her taking me to buy Lego and picking the box that had a Lego girl on it.

I’m sure I could remember lots more, but I’m going to stop here for now and say “Happy Mother’s Day, Mom”.

Logan

Lila

Scarlett

For me, this is also a day to remember how I became a mother, to remember the first time I saw each of my babies, when I finally held each of them, and to try to forget all the trouble they give me every day. Arg. The screams, fights, hurting each other, just plain being mean – it’s enough to make me cry “I need a vacation! Get me out of this madhouse!” Their constant need for me can be exhausting. But then I think about the cute things – Scarlett’s smile, how she reaches out when she wants me; Logan’s love for animals and how every day, whithout fail, he will ask to see a cow, and maybe a sheep, pig, horse, the entire farm; Lila carrying her teddy bear around, snuggling with it when she goes to sleep; how they love storytime before bed and will cuddle around me, listenting for the millionth time to the same story (the one I can read with my eyes closed and wish I could sleep through); Lila asking for ‘lap’ and wanting me to carry her; Logan asking to ‘do something with mommy’ all day long.
My only hope is that when they grow, they will remember the good, the fun we had, the times when I did what they wanted. Logan will often say “We are all eating together” when we sit for breakfast. It’s the only meal we eat together and it means a lot to him, having all of us there. Also, whenever I do something with him and Lila, he will say the same: “We are all here” or something along those lines. Even when I just sit in the pool holding the baby, he is happy that I’m there. Obviously the togetherness means a lot to him, and despite my busy days, I want to try to make time for those little things each of them like.
Maybe some day in the future something special will happen for me on Mother’s day; maybe I will be remembered or given a gift, even just a hug and “Happy Mother’s Day” would be enough for me. I may have to wait until they are grown (cause I can’t count on them learning it from daddy – long story). Until that time comes, I will just tuck away all the memories and remember why I wanted to do this thankless job in the first place.

So, mom, now that I am in the position to understand, thanks for all you ever did for me. I hope this makes up for all the years when I was clueless or forgot. 🙂 Have a great day!

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  1. Between tears, love you too honey,how I would have liked to be the perfect Mom but no way,its not so but you must know and all your siblings that I loved you each one very intensely!(this love towards you never ends)For me, in this life my children have always been first, the protective instinct was strong and the desire to love you, to meet your needs(I wish I'd taken time for more hugs!))was very strong and if you could see my room, you'd all find your pictures decorating my walls just like like the walls of my heart. Each of you are the best part of me.I love you Mercy ,I am so proud of my children and their children. Mercy, your a good Mom,the children will always remember,just as mom's, we will fail yet thank God that we remember the good things. I love you. Logan, Lila and Scarlet express their love and need for you daily, its so beautiful.Big Hugs to each of you, Mom

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