The End is in Sight

It’s almost over, my pregnancy that is. I’ve reached a point where I’m so tired that I just want it to be over with. I officially have 4 weeks left, but I find myself wondering if I can handle it. I’m tired all the time. I just can’t seem to get enough sleep. This morning Lila woke me at 6. I gave her a bottle of water and expected her to go back to sleep like she usually does, but she didn’t. She tossed and turned in my bed until almost 8 and then slept for another hour. I only brought her into my bed because she was making such a fuss that I was afraid she’d wake Logan. I never did get back to sleep with her moving so much, kicking my back. Oh, and the baby was moving like crazy this morning so both of them kept me awake.
Logan was up by 8 and Lila by 9, and I had to go back to sleep. I just couldn’t keep my eyes open, so they played while I slept some more. I got up after about 45 minutes and made them breakfast. Then between about 10:30 and 12:30 I napped about 3 times. I kept getting woken up for one thing or the other but I just couldn’t stay up.
So now I feel a little rested but I know that if I went back to bed I could sleep more. I hate being so tired as then I can’t care for the kids like I need to. At least it will be over soon. I can’t wait. I do know that I won’t have to wait another 4 weeks for the baby to come though as my doctor has mentioned the possiblility of an early delivery because she is concerned about the weight of the baby putting too much pressure on the old scar. Well, I’m perfectly ok with the baby coming earlier. I don’t mind in the least. The weight will be gone, I will be more tired, I know, but at least I won’t have to be carrying this weight around.
There is only one bad thing about an early delivery and that is that Glad’s mom who is coming to help us at that time won’t be here yet. She only arrives on the 11th of November and can’t come earlier as she had to have catarat surgery earlier this month and isn’t allowed to travel before then. So if she isn’t here then we have to look elsewhere for help with the kids and someone to stay with me in the hospital. I will have to spend 5 days there. This delivery is already slotted to be a ceasarean, so I know how long I’ll have to be there.
Before I had my first baby I never would have considered a ceasarean delivery. Here in India they are very common, much more than some other countries. It seems that at the slightest problem doctors don’t want to try other methods and immediately opt for a ceasarean. In my case they were necessary in both previous deliveries. With Logan my waterbag broke at 33 weeks and I didn’t go into labor, yet the water kept coming so he had to come out in a hurry. With Lila, she was on time, 8 days early, but she had already passed meconium so the doctor didn’t want to take any chances.
With this one my doctor has made it clear that she won’t go for anything but a ceasarean, but you know, I’m ok with that. I’ve come to realise that God has allowed me to deliver this way because He knew I wouldn’t have been able to handle a natural delivery.
I’m a wimp when it comes to pain. Menstrual cramps used to send me into agony. I’d curl up into a ball and depend on a hot water bottle, pain killers and sleep to get over it. Thankfully I’ve not had that kind of pain since Logan was born. The little bit of labor I had with Lila was enough to tell me that there was no way I’d be able to go through with hours of it and end with a natural delivery. So the thought of not having to experience that this time is enough for me to agree with the doctor to have an early delivery.
Besides, I’m eager to find out the baby’s sex. I have a feeling it’s a boy, but of course I don’t know for sure. It’s just a feeling, yet last time I had a strong feeling the baby was a girl and I was right. During the last few months of that pregnancy I was drawn to girly things. All I wanted to buy was pink frilly things. I just knew I was right. What makes me think this one is a boy? Yep, I’m attracted to boy things. Every time I’m in a baby shop, I see the cutest boys clothes and want them all. I don’t even feel like looking at girl’s clothes. But of course I haven’t bought anything specific yet. I’ve kept my purchases unisex, just in case I’m wrong. After all, I was convinced Logan was going to be a girl just because I had always wanted a girl. When to doctor told me I’d had a boy I was shocked. I was wondering what I was going to dress him in as all the clothes I’d saved were for girls. But during the days he spent in the hospital, people began giving my clothes and all of it was for boys. By the time he came home I had more than enough for him.
So when I know for sure what the doctor’s decision is, I’ll let you know. Pray that I can endure the last few weeks. More than anything I need energy. I have to sit every few minutes when I’m so tired or I feel like I’m going to fall. If I have enough rest then I can go for a few hours but then I still have to nap when the kids do. I’m desperate to get back on some sort of a normal schedule but I know that won’t happen for at least the next 2 months or so. But the end of all this is in sight, and I’ll be so happy when it comes.

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2 Comments

  1. All the best Mercy….Hope n pray everything goes on well!

    Reply
  2. Mercy, I would like so much to be with you right now!If the Lord makes a way,I'll fly!Right now I am in Monterrey with Zeke and we are opening our own small Home while Phil goes to the states to work for a while.So when will they operate. Please do tell me the date .I will keep you in desperate prayer till after you are on the road to health. Will be praying for your sleep and for things to work out so you can have help at this time.I love you,Mom

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