I was just thinking today about the beautiful song “If Tomorrow Never Comes”. Do my children really know I love them? Have I told my husband how deeply I love him?
I’ve always found it hard to express my feelings in words. Writing was easier so I stuck with that, but of course that was only good for so long. When we first got married I had to force myself to say “I love you” to Glad. It was hard, but can you believe that it was also hard for me to say it to my babies? I had to make myself do it at first because it has just never come naturally to me to verbalize my love for them. Besides, I couldn’t very well send my baby a note that said “I love you”, could I? At times I’ve done better at saying it and at other times I’ve just given up because I wasn’t doing as well as I thought I should.
Lately I’ve made the effort to make sure I tell each of them “I love you” at least once a day. For the children it’s usually when I tuck them into bed. Logan has gotten used to it and now he says “I love you” to me even before I say it to him. The first time that happened I melted. It’s so nice to hear that from your child. Since he has only recently started talking he was never able to say it before.
Just today I was dressing him and he hugged me and said “You love me” (meaning, of course, I love you, in his messed up personal pronoun use). I could tell he meant it and wanted to express it. This is the first time he has said it of his own accord and it meant so much to me.
With Glad somehow I find it harder. I guess I’m like most women and expect that he should say it first. I do want to hear it from him, but it seems most men also have a hard time verbally expressing love. I’ve realized that, like it or not, I need to be the one to say it. I have told him before that I like to hear it and he has made the effort to say it, but it died out after a time. Lately I’ve been bugged by his not saying it but I couldn’t bring myself to ask him to say it. I mean, what woman wants to constantly be reminding her husband to say “I love you”? You start to feel like a nag and that isn’t romantic. Just today I realized that it doesn’t matter who says it as long as one of us does. He will respond to my “I love you” with his own, so I guess that will have to do. I can’t expect him to be perfect.
I do know that he loves me; he just expresses it differently, mostly through how hard he works to provided for us. Look at this list:
1) He is working to get a preschool for the children from the local slums going. This is going to be a free school for those who are most needy, the ones who’s parents can’t even afford to send them to the government schools. It’s a huge undertaking. He has to scout out the slums, find a house nearby to use for the school, set it up, train teachers and staff, and get sponsorship from local companies for it. And he is doing all this with a minimal knowledge of Tamil. Mostly he is able to get someone to go with him who speaks Tamil and can translate for him. It’s going slow, but we hope to have the first (of hopefully many) schools open soon. See the link below where this project is covered.
(Make sure to browse the rest of the site. Relief Projects India has many projects going, mostly with abandoned babies, handicapped children, and educating the public about female infanticide. They could use all the support you can give. Glad and I personally know the couple who head up the projects and can vouch for them as being people who are there for the children and not the money.)
2) Three days a week he is teaching public speaking as an after school course to 7-11 year old’s.
3) Four nights a week (9-10:30 p.m.) he is teaching English to a Korean executive.
4) Every other week he helps a friend with seminars.
5) Once a week he oversees the children’s entertainment center in a large hotel during the Sunday brunch.
6) He is on call regularly for events where he sometimes does balloon sculpting.
Sometimes I forget how much he really does for us. Maybe that is why he’s so tired all the time. My job is to be there for him and let him know how much he is loved and appreciated.
So now take a minute to watch the song “If Tomorrow Never Comes” by Garth Brooks, and think about what it means for your life and family. Country music is not really my style but this song is an exception.