I Need More Time to Relax

It’s late. I’m tired. Why am I up posting when I should be in bed recovering from the day? ‘Cause I need to do something relaxing without having a child screaming in my ear!
Logan has a new thing he does. He picks up a rattle (naturally the one that makes the most noise) shakes it vigorously while banging it on the floor and screams. I have come to realize that he is actually trying to sing and make music. He is copying some puppets on a video he has. They shake rattles in rhythm to the music and I remember showing him how to do the same. So I guess he thinks that is what he is doing. And he always has to choose the worst time to do it, like when the baby is crying. Sometimes when she is screaming he screams too, much louder. I’ve had to explain to him why she does it and why he can’t (she’s a baby, my ears are delicate, can’t handle too much noise, blah blah). He seems to think it’s great fun. Meanwhile my nerves are reaching fritzing point. If that happens, I won’t be mommy any more but a grouchy bear. That is why I need time to myself to vent about the noise while the noisemakers are sleeping, and that only happens late at night.
This week Glad has been gone for a seminar. My days are one big blur; nothing different happens and there is non-stop noise. I miss having him there for when the “baby alarm” goes off. When she decides she has to eat right at the time when Logan has to eat, or have a bath, or go potty, there are two things pulling on me and he will usually step in and either take over with Logan, or (more recently) calm the baby until I can take her. Tonight, poor thing, I had to let her cry as Logan had made such a mess with his dinner. Most of it was everywhere but in his tummy.
I laughed while I took a picture (well, isn’t it better to laugh than cry???) and then put him in the tub. Lila made sure I was feeling real bad about leaving her while I gave Logan a bath and she screamed all the way until I rushed Logan into his pj’s and put him in his bed and was finally able to pick her up. Then she must have nursed for 20 minutes without stopping. I did feel bad but what was I to do? If I let Logan run around in his messy food state, it wouldn’t be long before the whole house would be covered in food, so there is no option but to clean him right away. I’ll be so happy when I get some help again.

And I need a drink, just to relax. I wouldn’t mind vodka and juice or rum and coke or a nice chocolate liquor. Add that last one to some ice cream and I’m in heaven.

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